Friday, October 10, 2008

nine things that could have made 'indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull' amazing


  1. there was no wonder. i seriously felt like indy was on a treasure hunt instead of learning about the history and being amazed by what he saw.
  2. none of the ridiculous shout outs to the old films that were being made, including score pieces of the older films. why was the ark in that warehouse? why did he say, 'your grandpa is looking down and smiling'? seriously.
  3. the fridge? really? wow.
  4. why the crap was ray winstone in the movie? i'm pretty sure he added negative amounts of anything to it. 'oh, indy, i'm your oldest bestest bud that also betrays you. huzzah!'
  5. swinging through the vines? dude. the crazy cg monkeys. so embarrassing. like, if shia had run through the forest at an angle to cut off the trucks and then grabbed one vine and swung across and kicked a dude, that woulda been hep.
  6. was karen allen even in the movie?
  7. the warehouse action sequence was by far the coolest part of the movie and should have happened later.
  8. why did they show the aliens? keep some mystery and suspense. like alfred hitchcock with the important stuff happening off screen. you knew it was god that got rid of the germans in 'raiders of the lost ark' but you didn't have to actually see him.
  9. the macguffin at the beginning should have had nothing to do with the rest of the film. that's how the movies always started. he was after something and then either got it or lost it and then it would segue into the actual film adventure.
i wanted this movie to melt my face off, and there were some scenes i really enjoyed. but over all, after it was over, i was like, 'sigh.' not to mention harrison ford hasn't done anything that's rocked my socks since 'the fugitive,' steven spielberg hasn't really done anything i've been excited about since 'saving private ryan' and george lucas...well, georgie boy, hasn't really impressed me since 'indiana jones and the last crusade.' but the flick did have the indiana jones theme, and that always makes me girly giggle.

7 comments:

Ninja Pants said...

Eddie this rocks my world. I'm checking this every day. But no pressure or anything...but yeaaaaaaaaa...kind of pressure yup

Ninja Pants said...

by the way...this is Nadia, yo.

Josh "The Tech" said...

Welcome to the blogging world. It sucks, it is too time consuming to be "hip", and Nadia doesn't let anyone read her blog. I have been waiting for my invite for a long time now.
Later. Yes, I am hogging your comments.

Unknown said...

Ok, Eddie, I love you, but seriously?

Did you actually just hate on Ray Winstone? I pray you meant his character, not the fucking man that is Ray Winstone.

THE PROPOSITION! HELLO?!?!!??!!?

Unknown said...

Oh, and Steven? Munich rocked. I also dig The Terminal, though I might be the only one. And Catch Me If You Can is underrated.

However, Minority Report and A.I. can apply suction to my genitals.

Then there's War of the Worlds...pretty resoundingly "meh."

Oh, and can SOMEONE tell this guy that Jurassic Park IV is a BAD PlAN?! I, for one, saw JP III, and, uh....yeah...

Anonymous said...

the fridge.

you could have stopped right there, that pretty much sums up how horrible indy 4 was for me...

and aliens... yeah.

Emoly said...

1. yup
2. uh huh
3. I totally agree
4. exactly
5. seriously
6. who? (j/k I know who)
7. right on
8. bingo!
9. spot on

as usual, I completely agree with your logic. And yes. You are a film nerd. (I almost wrote nazi but I didn't want to offend anyone)...